New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
should my penis look like a turkey
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
