How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
where does the pee come out of this thing
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
