I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just invented taco cereal.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
