omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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