How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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