So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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