i already hear my dad disowning me
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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