there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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