I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
