i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
