Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize