Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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