smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
