could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
