Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
