yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
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I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
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I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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