He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
