just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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