Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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