I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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