Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
