GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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