We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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