this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
