i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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