How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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