you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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