I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
