Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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