Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
