Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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