love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
