Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize