im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize