forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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