I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
