y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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