Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
