i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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