Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
