So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
It's Friday. Sex?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
