Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
NoShamevember. You game?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
