But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
