my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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