also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize