I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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