My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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