Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
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