he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
