Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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