Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
