soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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