If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
