When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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