don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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