so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
