NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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