Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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