Where is the hickey?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
